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I sit there,

Staring off into the distance.

Maybe I don’t cry anymore,

But it feels like those tears,

Have been soaked by my skin,

And that they reside in me


That’s how I’d describe the feeling

Somehow, I know that its worse

Than being sad

That feeling something

Is better than not feeling at all

And yet, it feels strangely better

As I hold no hope of being known

And without expectations

I couldn’t dream of better times

Nor wake up into dissapointment

And that is when this thing starts

The overwhelming feeling that asks me to feel

This thing in my head that asks me to feel the pain

And not keep it in

For if I shove it in any more,

It’ll probably never leave me

And I desperately want it to

As I want to feel again

I want to be able to smile

Without putting too much of an effort

I want to feel things which I thought were impossible

All I want is to feel..

quote: “And I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away.” know the book?

PS:Also, have you ever felt this? A place where you feel the inability to feel itself?

PPS: RED(TV) IS OUT AND I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT (swifties will relate)


49 thoughts on “Numb

Add yours

  1. Oh Yes Living Without Emotions
    Yes Feelings A Place i Inhabited

    For 66 Months Not Even

    A Feeling of A Smile


    As Memories

    Are Emotions

    Emotions are
    Memories THere is
    No Reference Point out

    When One Arrives in the Empty

    Place Within True And It Becomes
    Easier to Understand Why Some Folks
    Self Injure to Feel Anything At All Yes Pain

    And True Finally

    Finding Pictures

    of Loved Ones

    Lost And

    Songs Related

    Brought Back Some
    Grief to Start Feeling Again

    Yet at The Beginning Like that
    Painting of ‘Scream’ That Does DePict

    The Piece Of Paper Existence Well

    As One Will Scream and Scream
    And Scream to The Sky And Feel

    Nothing At All

    Yet A New



    Abyss Night

    of the Soul Within

    Other Wise Known
    As Hell my FRiEnD Okay

    That Was Nearly 100 Months
    Ago.. Yes This is Heaven Now

    Ever Since i Got The Feelings Back
    Again on July 19th 2013 Staycation

    In Heaven in Autotelic Flow of Dance
    And Song i Remain Dancing A Tight
    Rope Higher And Higher in More
    Complexity of Effortless Ease

    Sweet Spot



    And Apathy indeed
    Akshita Dear FRiEnD SMiLes
    Glad You Are Feeling These Days
    And i’ll Have to Check Out Taylor Swift too..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. beautiful. this write has come from deep within. Would you care to share?
    I for one loved it a lot. this is me kunjal. And i have felt it a few times. But not as if it has prolonged into numbness. All of us shove the feeling of sadness in our heads. we dont let it out. i also dont let it out believing i don’t have patient listeners!
    when i do, the sleep is good,
    thank you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks kunjal!
      This was a phase and the remnants of those times came back to me and thus the poem
      Same, its hard finding listeners
      Exactly, its a strangely peacful thing when it goes away
      Well, thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful! 👏
    I so relate – I’ve felt it a few times – just being numb – no emotions. Doesn’t feel good but I do think I prefer it to feeling all the hundreds of emotions I feel normally. 🙈

    Liked by 2 people

  4. akshitaaaa.. love this so much, psychic twin, and i get the feeling- it’s kinda inexplicable but you articulated it sooo well
    I have literally had the album on repeat since 10:30 BECAUSE IT’S JUST SO GOOD ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh you get this perfectly. Thabk you rishikaaa
      Omg ikr. “You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” ahhhhh..i can’t wait for the short film!!!


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