Numb

I sit there,

Staring off into the distance.

Maybe I don’t cry anymore,

But it feels like those tears,

Have been soaked by my skin,

And that they reside in me

Numb

That’s how I’d describe the feeling

Somehow, I know that its worse

Than being sad

That feeling something

Is better than not feeling at all

And yet, it feels strangely better

As I hold no hope of being known

And without expectations

I couldn’t dream of better times

Nor wake up into dissapointment

And that is when this thing starts

The overwhelming feeling that asks me to feel

This thing in my head that asks me to feel the pain

And not keep it in

For if I shove it in any more,

It’ll probably never leave me

And I desperately want it to

As I want to feel again

I want to be able to smile

Without putting too much of an effort

I want to feel things which I thought were impossible

All I want is to feel..

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quote: “And I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away.” know the book?

PS:Also, have you ever felt this? A place where you feel the inability to feel itself?

PPS: RED(TV) IS OUT AND I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT (swifties will relate)